So this week has been filled with slothiness- immense slothiness. I cannot provide an explanation (should I rather say excuse) for such slothy behaviour other than it might be due to a lack of motivation or a combination of mixed emotions.
In fact, this post was supposed to have been written and completed yesterday (I decided to have a pity party instead). And now I feel like a box of Smarties being rattled around so much that I do not even now which colour Smartie I am any more. (Thinking of the blue Smartie, I now have the Smurf’s theme stuck in my head… Ooooo! I now want chocolate!)
Take Saturday afternoon for example. Once again I was slothing instead of being productive. I would like to blame this act on my body’s battle with the common cold but honestly, I didn’t feel like doing anything- colouring, series, reading, anything (other than eating chocolate)!
The air was filled with a heaviness. It is quite difficult to explain. Thick and heavy. The other side of my window seemed bright, fresh and I could even hear a chicken cooing in the distance; yet the air was filled with this heaviness. Odd.
Could this have been the cloth of a dream state induced into reality from my laziness and refusal to leave my bed? It was unexplainable, mysterious and somewhat frightening.
As I returned to my lazy stupor, my mother barged into my room. Well, not exactly barge, but I cannot seem to find a more fitting word. (And yes, I still live at home. Life of one in need of a better paying job). My mother’s act of opening my room door is never gentle. It is a handy turn and a mighty thrust- much like the Orcs attempt of breaking the doors to Helms Deep *exaggeration*. Her entrance often gives me a bit of a scare and always leaves behind a sense of disturbance of the peace.
As her judging eyes scan my nuclear war zone of a room, she asked if I am going to go out with them. My reply is a simple “No”. Mother was clearly not impressed and went on about me being boring and emphasized the fact that I would be doing nothing: “What?! You just going to do nothing!” Yes, and thus I entered a week of the mediation of Nothingness.
To be honest, I had so much in mind for my next writing escapade. I wanted to write on the upcoming Hindu festival of Diwali- the sparkliness of it all. But then I stumbled on a Facebook post that a friend of mine (actually a friend of my brother’s but for courtesy sake we will say my friend) had shared another blogger’s (look at me, implying that I am a blogger too) post on dissecting the beauty of the dark skinned Indian woman. This made me think that my blog needs some direction, some substance. I cannot be all wafty and wavy… But as I put my pen to paper again the randomness of my mind flows like the Universe into a paper cup (what up Beatles reference!…. okay and IISuperwomanII).
Yesterday, the annoying Facebook memories actually alleviated some anxiety that I was feeling by reminding me of a spark of happiness and inspiration. Yesterday marked the one year anniversary of my watching of the film “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.” This film is highly sentimental to me but that is a story for another time.
I remember watching the film late (well late in my personal time zone) at night, curled on the couch in my blanket igloo. Half asleep, half dreaming. And then the push of the visual awakening and stirring my soul within!
“To see the world, things dangerous to come to, to see behind walls, draw closer, to find each other and to feel. That is the purpose of life.”
Now, I am not going to make this a Quick Notes on the film or a case study. I am simply going to say that the above quote has stuck with me ever since. Who am I kidding? You know me by now- Elaboration here we come!!!
Today, in fact, I found it very difficult to start my day- to get work done. The blunt reason I used was “Work is crap.” So in my search for motivation (more like my procrastination of chatting), this quote came to me speaking words of wisdom, let it be! (God bless the Beatles!).
It is in this quote that I can resolve that purpose for everyone is specific and my purpose is a light years difference of what I am currently doing. However, I am slowly stepping into my purpose and embracing it with the wingspan of an Eagle. You might think that the wingspan of an Eagle is relatively small but when the Eagle takes to the sky and soars- the whole sky is engulfed under its wings.
“The Secret Life of Walter Mitty” was my reminder that “Dreams are meant to be lived”. So often we daydream about a better place, a better position, a better world, a better you; yet we do nothing in reality to make our daydreams our life. Live your daydreams, Sweet Ones! Drink beer out of a boot in Nuuk whilst being serenaded by Space Oddity. And “live by the ABC’s- Adventurous. Brave. Creative!”
I think I have rambled on enough. Sparkles!